Your teenager used to talk to you. Now they barely make eye contact. They spend all their time in their room. When you ask how they are doing, you get one word answers. You try to connect, but they shut you out. You wonder if this is normal teenage behavior or if something is seriously wrong.
You miss who they used to be. You worry about what they are going through. You feel helpless watching them pull away and not knowing how to reach them.
If you have been searching teen pulling away, adolescent withdrawal, or family therapy Colorado, you are recognizing something important. Teen withdrawal is common, but it is also confusing and painful. Knowing when it is normal and when it needs intervention is essential.
At Better Lives, Building Tribes, we work with families in Colorado to navigate the challenges of adolescence and maintain connection even when teens pull away. This article explores why teens withdraw, when to worry, and how to stay connected.
Why Teens Pull Away
Adolescent withdrawal is developmentally normal in many cases. Here is why it happens:
Building Independence
Teens are supposed to pull away from parents. It is part of becoming their own person. They need space to figure out who they are separate from you.
Peer Relationships Become Primary
During adolescence, friends become more important than family. This is normal and necessary for social development.
Brain Development
The teenage brain is undergoing massive changes. Emotions are intense and hard to regulate. Sometimes withdrawal is a way to manage overwhelming feelings.
Privacy And Autonomy
Teens need privacy. They are exploring identity, sexuality, and independence. Not sharing everything with parents is healthy.
Feeling Misunderstood
Many teens feel like parents do not understand them. Rather than trying to explain, they withdraw.
When Withdrawal Becomes Concerning
Normal teenage independence is different from withdrawal driven by mental health struggles. Pay attention to these signs:
- Extreme isolation: They stop spending time with friends, not just family. They do not leave their room for days.
- Loss of interest: They quit activities they used to love. Nothing brings them joy.
- Mood changes: Persistent sadness, irritability, anger, or emotional flatness.
- Decline in school: Grades dropping, missing assignments, or skipping school.
- Changes in eating or sleeping: Eating significantly more or less, sleeping all the time or not sleeping.
- Self harm or substance use: Any signs of cutting, drug or alcohol use, or reckless behavior.
- Suicidal thoughts: Talking about wanting to die, giving away possessions, or expressing hopelessness.
If you see several of these signs, it is time to seek professional help.
How To Stay Connected When Your Teen Pulls Away
You cannot force connection, but you can create conditions that make it more likely:
Respect Their Need For Space
Give them room to breathe. Do not hover, interrogate, or force conversations. Let them come to you.
Be Available Without Being Intrusive
Let them know you are there if they need you. “I am here if you want to talk. No pressure.” Then actually follow through.
Find Low Pressure Ways To Connect
Not every interaction has to be a deep conversation. Watch a show together. Drive them somewhere. These side by side activities can create openings for connection.
Listen More Than You Talk
When they do open up, resist the urge to lecture, fix, or judge. Just listen. They need to feel heard, not managed.
Validate Their Feelings
Even if you do not understand, acknowledge that their feelings are real. “That sounds really hard” goes a long way.
What Not To Do
Some well meaning approaches push teens further away:
- Do not take it personally: Their withdrawal is usually not about you. It is about them figuring out who they are.
- Do not force conversations: Demanding they talk will make them shut down more.
- Do not dismiss their problems: Saying “You will get over it” or “It is not that bad” invalidates their experience.
- Do not compare them to others: “Your friend is doing fine” makes them feel worse, not better.
- Do not snoop without reason: Respecting privacy builds trust. Only invade privacy if you have serious safety concerns.
When To Seek Professional Help
You do not have to wait until things are in crisis to get help. Seek professional support if:
- Your teen is showing signs of depression, anxiety, or other mental health struggles.
- The withdrawal is extreme or has lasted for months.
- You have tried to connect and nothing is working.
- Your family is in constant conflict.
- You feel overwhelmed and do not know how to help.
Therapy is not a last resort. It is a proactive step toward supporting your teen.
How Therapy Helps Teens And Families
Therapy provides a safe space for teens to process what they are experiencing and teaches families how to communicate better.
At Better Lives, Building Tribes, therapy for teens and families might include:
Individual Therapy For Teens
We create a confidential space where teens can talk about what is really going on. We help them build coping skills and process emotions.
Family Therapy
We help families improve communication, resolve conflicts, and rebuild connection. Family therapy strengthens relationships without forcing intimacy.
Parent Coaching
We provide guidance for parents navigating the challenges of raising teens. You do not have to figure this out alone.
Addressing Mental Health Issues
If your teen is struggling with depression, anxiety, or trauma, we provide evidence based treatment tailored to their needs.
We offer virtual therapy for teens and families across Colorado, which can feel less intimidating for teens who are resistant to in person sessions.
How To Talk To Your Teen About Therapy
Many teens resist therapy. Here is how to approach the conversation:
Be Honest
Explain why you think therapy could help. “I have noticed you seem really sad lately. I think talking to someone could help.”
Frame It As Support, Not Punishment
Make it clear that therapy is not because they did something wrong. It is because you care and want to support them.
Involve Them In The Decision
Give them some control. Let them help choose the therapist or decide what they want to talk about.
Normalize Therapy
If you have been to therapy, share that. Let them know that asking for help is strength, not weakness.
Do Not Force It
If they refuse, do not force them (unless it is a safety issue). You can say “The offer is always open when you are ready.”
How To Take Care Of Yourself
Parenting a withdrawn teen is emotionally exhausting. You need support too:
- Get your own therapy: You cannot support your teen if you are depleted.
- Connect with other parents: You are not alone. Talking to other parents navigating similar struggles helps.
- Practice self compassion: You are doing your best. Parenting teens is hard.
- Maintain your own life: Do not make your teen’s wellbeing your entire identity. You need hobbies, friendships, and self care.
How Better Lives, Building Tribes Supports Families
At Better Lives, Building Tribes, we understand that teen withdrawal is confusing and painful for parents. We work with both teens and their families to build connection and support mental health.
Our approach is:
- Teen centered: We meet teens where they are and create space for them to feel heard.
- Family focused: We help families strengthen relationships without forcing connection.
- Compassionate: We understand that parenting teens is hard, and we do not blame parents for struggling.
- Practical: We provide tools and strategies that work in real life.
Next Steps: Supporting Your Teen In Colorado
If your teen is pulling away and you are worried, you do not have to navigate this alone. Therapy can help.
To start therapy for teens and families with Better Lives, Building Tribes:
- Visit betterlivesbuildingtribes.com/ to learn more about our services for teens and families.
- Schedule a session with Dr. Meaghan Rice or another therapist on our team through the booking link on our site.
- Reach out via our contact form to ask questions or find out if we are a good fit for your family.
Adolescence is hard for everyone. With support, you can stay connected to your teen and help them navigate this challenging time. We would be honored to help.
