You just had a baby. Everyone keeps asking if you have postpartum depression. You do not think you are depressed, but something is definitely wrong. You feel anxious all the time, checking if the baby is breathing every few minutes. Or you feel rage that scares you. Or you feel numb and disconnected, going through the motions but not feeling like yourself.
People talk about postpartum depression, but what you are experiencing does not quite fit. You feel isolated because no one is talking about what you are going through. You wonder if you are a bad parent for not feeling the way you thought you would.
If you have been searching postpartum anxiety, postpartum rage, or therapy for new parents Colorado, you are recognizing something important. Postpartum mental health struggles come in many forms, and they all deserve attention and support.
At Better Lives, Building Tribes, we understand that becoming a parent is one of the most disorienting life transitions you can experience. This article explores the full spectrum of postpartum struggles, how they differ from depression, and how therapy can help.
Why Postpartum Mental Health Is More Than Just Depression
Postpartum depression gets the most attention, but new parents can experience a range of mental health challenges:
Postpartum Anxiety
You feel intense worry about the baby’s safety. You have intrusive thoughts about harm coming to your child. You cannot stop checking on them or researching every symptom. You might have panic attacks or physical symptoms like racing heart and difficulty breathing.
Postpartum Rage
You feel intense anger that feels disproportionate to the situation. You might snap at your partner, feel resentment toward the baby, or have frightening thoughts about harming someone. This is deeply shameful, but it is more common than you think.
Postpartum OCD
You have intrusive, disturbing thoughts about harm coming to your baby (often involving violent images). These thoughts terrify you, and you develop compulsive behaviors to try to prevent them. This is different from postpartum psychosis and does not mean you are dangerous.
Postpartum PTSD
Your birth experience was traumatic. You have flashbacks, nightmares, or avoid anything that reminds you of the birth. You might feel disconnected from your baby or hypervigilant about medical situations.
Identity Loss And Grief
You love your baby, but you also grieve the life you had before. You miss your freedom, your body, your career, your identity. This grief can coexist with love, but it feels confusing and shameful.
Why These Struggles Go Unrecognized
Postpartum mental health issues often go unrecognized because:
Screening Tools Focus On Depression
Most postpartum screenings use the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, which does not capture anxiety, rage, or trauma. You might screen negative for depression while still struggling significantly.
Cultural Expectations Of Motherhood
There is intense pressure to be grateful, glowing, and naturally maternal. Admitting you are struggling feels like admitting you are a bad parent.
Lack Of Language
People do not talk about postpartum rage or postpartum OCD as openly as they talk about depression. Without language for your experience, you might think you are uniquely broken.
Isolation
New parents are often isolated. You might not have time or energy to reach out for help. You might feel too ashamed to admit how bad it really is.
How Postpartum Struggles Affect Your Relationship
Postpartum mental health issues do not just affect you. They affect your partnership:
- Resentment: You might resent your partner for not experiencing the same physical and emotional toll. They might resent you for being irritable or withdrawn.
- Disconnection: The intimacy you had before the baby might feel impossible to access. You are both exhausted and have nothing left to give each other.
- Conflict: Small disagreements escalate because you are both running on empty. You might fight about parenting decisions, division of labor, or sex.
- Loneliness: Even though you are parenting together, you might feel profoundly alone in your struggle.
What Makes Postpartum Struggles Worse
Certain factors increase the risk or intensity of postpartum mental health issues:
- History of anxiety, depression, or trauma: If you had mental health struggles before pregnancy, you are at higher risk postpartum.
- Traumatic birth experience: Difficult labor, emergency C section, or NICU time can contribute to postpartum PTSD.
- Lack of support: If you do not have family nearby or a strong support system, you are more vulnerable.
- Sleep deprivation: Chronic lack of sleep worsens every mental health condition.
- Breastfeeding challenges: If breastfeeding is painful, difficult, or not working, it can increase feelings of failure and distress.
- Financial stress: Worrying about money while caring for a new baby adds another layer of anxiety.
How To Get Help Without Guilt
Asking for help as a new parent is hard. You might feel like you should be able to handle it. You might worry about being judged. Here is how to reframe getting help:
Normalize Struggle
Up to 20% of new parents experience postpartum depression or anxiety. You are not failing. You are experiencing a common response to an enormous life change.
Separate Asking For Help From Being A Bad Parent
Getting support is not weakness. It is how you take care of your family. Your baby needs you to be well, and you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Start Small
You do not have to solve everything at once. One therapy session. One conversation with your partner. One call to a friend. Small steps matter.
Tell Your Doctor
Be honest at your postpartum checkups. If you are screened for depression and it does not capture what you are experiencing, say that. “I am not depressed, but I am having intense anxiety” or “I am having scary intrusive thoughts.”
Reach Out To Other New Parents
New parent support groups (virtual or in person) can help you realize you are not alone. Hearing others share similar struggles is incredibly validating.
How Therapy Helps New Parents
Therapy provides space to process what you are experiencing without judgment. At Better Lives, Building Tribes, postpartum therapy might include:
Normalizing Your Experience
We help you understand that what you are feeling is a common response to an enormous transition. You are not broken or bad.
Processing Birth Trauma
If your birth was traumatic, we use trauma informed approaches to help you process what happened so it does not keep affecting you.
Managing Anxiety And Intrusive Thoughts
We teach you tools to manage anxiety and intrusive thoughts without letting them control your life.
Addressing Identity Loss
We help you grieve who you were before while also building a new identity that includes parenthood.
Improving Your Relationship
We offer couples therapy to help you and your partner navigate this transition together and rebuild connection.
We offer virtual therapy for adults across Colorado, which is especially helpful for new parents who cannot leave home easily.
What Partners Can Do To Help
If your partner is struggling postpartum, here is how you can support them:
- Believe them: Do not minimize their experience or tell them they are overreacting.
- Take on more: Do more household tasks and baby care than feels “fair.” They need the support.
- Encourage professional help: Gently suggest therapy or talking to a doctor. Offer to help find resources or schedule appointments.
- Give them breaks: Take the baby for a few hours so they can rest, shower, or see a friend.
- Do not take it personally: If they are irritable or withdrawn, remember it is not about you.
When To Seek Immediate Help
Most postpartum struggles can be managed with therapy and support. But if you experience any of the following, seek help immediately:
- Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby.
- Hallucinations or delusions (seeing or hearing things that are not there, believing things that are not true).
- Inability to care for yourself or your baby.
- Intense paranoia or confusion.
Call 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) or go to the nearest emergency room. Postpartum psychosis is a medical emergency and is treatable.
How Better Lives, Building Tribes Supports New Parents
At Better Lives, Building Tribes, we understand that becoming a parent is overwhelming. We create space for you to process the full range of emotions without shame.
Our approach is:
- Compassionate and nonjudgmental: We do not shame you for struggling or not feeling how you think you should feel.
- Trauma informed: We understand how birth and early parenting can be traumatic.
- Practical and supportive: We give you tools to manage symptoms while also addressing deeper issues.
- Relational: We help you rebuild connection with your partner and your baby.
Next Steps: Getting Support In Colorado
If you are struggling as a new parent, you do not have to suffer in silence. Therapy can help you feel better and show up more fully for your family.
To start postpartum therapy with Better Lives, Building Tribes:
- Visit betterlivesbuildingtribes.com/ to learn more about our services for new parents.
- Schedule a session with Dr. Meaghan Rice or another therapist on our team through the booking link on our site.
- Reach out via our contact form to ask questions or find out if we are a good fit for what you are experiencing.
You are not a bad parent for struggling. You are a human navigating one of the hardest transitions life can bring. With support, you can feel better. We would be honored to help.
